Keep Talking Happy Talk
Written by Dietitians at Diabetes Control for Life
Linda was struggling with controlling her diabetes. She had lost a few kilograms at first, and had started exercising, but then had stopped losing. She was stuck in the Frustration Phase of her diabetes control program.
Every time she got on the scale, or checked her glucose levels, her inner dialogue went something like this: “What’s wrong with me? Beth is doing really well on the program, but I should have known it wouldn’t work for me. Nothing works. I have no willpower, no self-control.”
This article is about self-talk, your inner dialogues. It makes two points:
- Self-talk, whether positive or negative, has a strong effect on how you act — on the actions you take or don’t take to meet your diabetes control goals.
- You can learn to make your inner dialogues positive, self-affirming, and powerful.
The Power of Self-Talk
“Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that's real power.”
Clint Eastwood
Experts in behavior change call this inner dialogue self-talk. Psychologists also know how powerful these dialogues can be, positively or negatively.
Think about what Linda is doing. She is setting herself up to fail.
- First, in telling herself she’s a failure, she deprives herself of something to live up to. She doesn’t have an image of herself as a winner, so she can’t aim to win. Why persevere? She might as well quit the program now, she tells herself, because she obviously can’t do it.
- Second, now she feels so miserable that her emotional state is likely to trigger emotions that will compromise her diabetes control goals.
Changing That Inner Dialogue
Did Linda get back on track? Yes. But it didn’t happen overnight, and it took some intervention from Beth, who’s a good friend as well as a coming-clean support person.
During a walk together, Beth talked Linda into sticking with the program, at least for a while. She also told Linda she needed to work on her negative self-talk. She gave Linda a good pep talk, and reminded her that she had lost some weight, that her glucose levels were in better control, and that she obviously had the knowledge, skills, and strengths that would help her get to her goal. Together, they sketched out the plan below to help Linda change her self-talk.
- Listen in on your inner dialogues. Linda wasn’t even aware of how negative her thoughts and self-talk were and the impact they were having on her. To start changing her self-talk, she had to become more sensitive to and aware of what she was telling herself. Beth said, “Pretend you’re an eavesdropper on these inner dialogues. What are you hearing? Write down some of the negative things you’re telling yourself.”
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“If you argue for your limitations long enough, they are yours for life.”
Richard Bach
Substitute positives for negatives. Beth and Linda decided the next step would be to jot down some positive alternatives to Linda’s negatives. Linda tried out a few examples.
- She would not use words like “failure” or “loser” in describing herself. She was a “winner,” a “success.”
- She wouldn’t tell herself she was weak and lacked self-discipline. She was a strong, can-do person.
- She wouldn’t say she was too out of shape to exercise. She would create an exercise program that was appropriate for her and that she might even enjoy!
- Practice, practice, practice. Finally, Linda decided to practice substituting positives for negatives in her self-talk for a full week. At the end of the week, she would report her progress to Beth. By the end of that week, Linda was feeling more confident that she could achieve her goals than she had in a long time. Her positive self-talk and can-do attitude helped her make the lifestyle changes she needed to make to reach her diabetes control goals.
Trying New Self-Talk
Are negative thoughts and inner dialogues undermining your diabetes control program? Try Beth's and Linda’s plan and see whether it helps you.
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Reflect on what you say to yourself when you’re thinking about your Diabetes Control for Life Program and how well you’re doing in it. Then write down some of these self-talk statements.
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If these statements are negative, substitute positive alternatives. If your self-talk is positive, that’s great. Keep it up!
Negative statement:
Positive statement:
Negative statement:
Positive statement:
Negative statement:
Positive statement:
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If you substituted positive alternatives for negative self-talk, practice them for a week. Then jot down below how the new self-talk helped you with your program.
Summary
- Self-talk, whether positive or negative, has a strong effect on how you act — on the actions you take or don’t take to meet your diabetes control goals.
- You can learn to make your inner dialogues positive, self-affirming, and powerful.
